Getting fired is tough. No matter how good you thought you were at your job, somebody else didn’t feel the same. In November 2022, I moved to Charlotte, NC. After being a stay at home mom for 3 years, I was ready to go back to work and get as far away from home as possible. I thought that my mental health would suddenly flourish if I got out of the house long enough. It did, for some time. I got a job that I really liked. It came with coworkers that were really great to be around. A management team that was to die for. It was perfect. I got a promotion and a raise within a month. It was amazing. I was right. Getting out of the house solved everything. I became obsessed with working. I knew I was a good mom, I knew I was a good wife, I just needed something to make me feel I was good enough for me. I worked really hard, I gave that job my all. I started calling my coworkers. “friends”. I was going above and beyond, so much so that my son and my partner were suffering because of it. I would go into work 2 hours before my shift, leave hours after my shift. I did everything that was asked of me. My job was my number one. The paycheck was really nice, so that was a plus. I learned very quickly the consequences of doing too much. I understood the memes about “that job don’t love you back”. I stood up for people who would’ve never done the same for me. And in the end, I got fired because someone “didn’t like me”. Stop, don’t feel bad for me. I strongly believe that getting fired, was the best thing that ever happened to me. Being released from a toxic workplace that you would have refused to leave otherwise is a blessing. I came to Charlotte to write. I wanted to start my second book, I wanted to network and meet people that could help me accomplish my goals and instead I got caught up and gave a job what I should have been giving my family and my goals. So what now huh? Well, in true Romyboattt fashion, here are 5 reasons why you should work your little shift, go home, and do nothing more.
Those people don’t care about you!!- No really, they don’t. If you are going thru something, they don’t care. If you are sick, they don’t care. They need you at work. Nothing more, nothing less. You are as valuable as your attendance. You are only valuable if you are doing something for them. As soon as you cannot give 110%, its a wrapppp for you babyyyy. Your family and your friends suffer because you put your job first and they do not care about it. I would see my son in the morning and then for an hour at night. I would work 6 days a week 40+ hours because they needed me and I wanted to prove my loyalty and commitment to the job. You have to get in there, do your job, and clock out. Don’t give them too much of you because they don’t reimburse you for it. I blame myself too though because I knew I was doing more than what was asked of me. But damn, you would think they would appreciate it.
YOUR COWORKERS ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS– As soon as I got fired, every single person who used to text me regularly, met my son, spent Christmas w me, hung out with me outside of work, cyphed with me, vented to me, stopped talking to me. The people who I saw more than my family, who called themselves my “friends” stopped talking to me. I didn’t have friends in Florida, so coming here and being able to make “friends” and be able to see them all the time was a win. They weren’t my friends though. At all. No seriously, like the day after I got fired, everyone stopped talking to me. They were telling me their deepest secrets and then. I don’t get it. I was really sad about it at first cause like damn, just like that? But then I realized, they were never really my friends, they were just cool with me to make work more bearable. Don’t attach yourself to a bunch of people who don’t care about you once they clock out. I’m not saying this happens all the time. I have lifetime friendships I made from other jobs I’ve had. What i’m saying is be careful with the people at work you choose to build an attachment to. They don’t care about you.
Family and time is more valuable than money- Okay, yes, money is important but it isn’t everything. Spending time with my toddler who grows a mile a minute is worth more than all the thousands I made there. Waking up and spending the day with my family, being lazy on the couch, or going on an adventure is so important for a healthy foundation. With the exception of me and like 2 others, the rest of the staff didn’t have a family. Most of them were single/unmarried and their biggest blessing was their dog. I worked so much that I would get home tired and I would be cranky as hell and take it out on the people who waited all day for me to finally get home. None of this was the job’s fault. I was the one who wanted to do the most and go above and beyond and be a “pick me” because I wanted them to see me. “Look at me, I put the company over my family, I deserve all the praise” I did more to be loved by my job than I did to be loved by my family. I came here alone, sent my son to NY to be with my mom for a few months while I got myself and my mental health together. I wanted to build the life We deserved. An apartment in the city, comfortably, close to family so my son wouldn’t grow up alone, close to my parents so that we could rebuild our relationship since they are getting older. I wanted to be closer to my brother and my cousins. I wanted my partner to have a community too. I wanted to focus on writing and live somewhere where the arts were important. I left Florida and came here to create a happy life for us. I made a big sacrifice. ” I built this shit, brick by brick”. I became so obsessed with that job that I forgot the reason I came here was to create a life for my family that I WANTED TO BE A PART OF. I forgot the value in that. It’s important to have a work life balance. It’s important to give your family the same time and attention you give your job.
Integrity Shouldn’t Cost You Your Job- before I got fired, I got suspended. I got suspended because it was more important to me to be a voice for women than it was to be an employee. A guy at work was harassing 2 girls, he was being so gross and inappropriate, they reported him, HR took their sweet time to get rid of him so another girl ended up getting harassed. She didn’t want to report him, so in an attempt to create a safe space for her so that she would speak up.. I “talked about an open HR case and could’ve caused a lawsuit” that code for “we didn’t take this as serious as it needed to be taken and you could’ve gotten us sued for not caring and not doing our jobs fast enough”. That’s all it was. I was a liability because I didn’t have their back. These girls feared for their life everyday at work. They knew for a month what was going on with him and did nothing. However, once I said something, and got suspended for it first, he finally got fired. Understand that I got in trouble for what I did before the harasser did. Do you see how fucked that is? The job suspended me for having integrity and doing the right thing and being a voice for women who nobody wanted to hear. It sucked but i’d do it a hundred more times if it means keeping women safe especially in a world that does nothing to protect us. Corporate wanted me fired by the way, but my managers fought against it because I didn’t do it with any malicious intent. I was just being a good person. Ever since then, i’m pretty sure corporate kept a close eye on me and waited for the slightest fuck up to get rid of me. They quickly realized that no job for me was worth sacrificing my integrity and morals and that didn’t sit right with them.
Don’t Get Too Comfortable- Like I said, they don’t care about you. You will be an employee one minute and the next you’re not. Unless it is your career, do not think that job is IT for you. Don’t delete indeed, always keep your eyes open for something better. When you get too comfortable at a job, if you lose it, it’s going to hurt you. Really bad. You’ll have questions. You’ll be sad. You’ll tell someone how upset you are and they’ll act like they don’t get it because they understood the first time that it was just a job. I learned very fast that it was a blessing that I had a beautiful life outside of work. I had a great relationship, I had a beautiful baby boy, I had a big family that was supportive and helpful. For a lot of people at that job, work was the highlight of their life. They had nothing else outside of those walls. I was so blessed and I didn’t even realize it. I know that the universe got me out of there because that wasn’t what I came here to do. I wouldn’t have left. I would have abandoned my dreams and continued to give my all to the job and have nothing else left to give the other parts of my life. I’m not saying don’t like your job and don’t be the best at it. I’m just saying, don’t think that the job loves you back just as much as you love it. You can get laid off, there can be another pandemic, anything can happen and if you give too much and got too comfortable, it’s going to hurt like hell when it’s not part of your life anymore.
I’m fine, I am. I think I learned what I needed to while I was there and that was it’s purpose. I had fun while I was there and I think this post is my closure and my understanding that there are so many more important things to me than clocking in and out. I learned new skills, I learned the importance of my integrity, I learned that I am resilient and that losing a job is definitely not the worst thing I have been through in life. I know now more than ever that my life and career goal has never been to be anybody’s employee and that I should never put another person’s company over my writing. I can focus now on what I came to Charlotte for. I am grateful for the lessons, I am grateful for the coworkers that made the job more tolerable. I learned how to be patient, I learned that I am a leader and my ability to command a room with no introduction is truly unmatched. Most of all, I was reminded of who I am. The person that I lost through post partum depression, suicidal ideations, anxiety, motherhood, relocation, I found her. I got Romyboattt back and I would have never if I didn’t do what I did with this job. I am grateful for the firing because I would not have gotten back to this place without this. I am ready to see what Charlotte has to offer me. I am already writing the next book, I’ve made some REAL friends. Getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Romyboattt 